I ate an expensive dinner last week while scrolling through news about famine. The pasta was perfect. I felt terrible about enjoying it.
This guilt seems reasonable at first. People are suffering. I’m having fun. How can that be okay?
But here’s the thing: my misery doesn’t reduce anyone else’s suffering. If I hate my pasta, no one gets fed. If I skip the dinner entirely and donate that money, maybe someone benefits. But feeling bad while eating? That helps nobody.
The guilt is just punishment with no purpose.
There’s something deeper here too. I think we feel guilty about pleasure because we mistake correlation for causation. Rich countries have more pleasure and less suffering. So our brains connect them: pleasure causes suffering, or at least depends on it.
Sometimes that’s true. My cheap shirt probably exists because someone else works in horrible conditions. But most pleasures aren’t zero-sum. Music doesn’t require anyone’s misery. Neither does friendship, or a good book, or lying in the sun.
The strangest part: this guilt makes us less likely to help, not more. When pleasure feels immoral, we avoid it instead of thinking clearly about what actually reduces suffering.
I’m not arguing for callousness. Give what you can. Vote for better policies. Pay attention to how your choices affect others.
But don’t tax your happiness for suffering you didn’t cause and can’t solve by feeling bad.
The world has enough misery without you manufacturing more.