I felt guilty eating ice cream yesterday. Not because of calories or sugar. Because I’d just read about famine somewhere. This happens all the time. You enjoy a nice meal while thinking about hunger. You feel bad about your vacation while others work. You hesitate to celebrate good news when friends are struggling. The guilt feels moral. Like enjoying yourself while others suffer is somehow wrong. But think about what this guilt actually accomplishes....
I’m lying in a hammock on a Tuesday afternoon. The sun feels perfect. I have nowhere to be. And I feel guilty. Not because I’m skipping work or neglecting responsibilities. I’ve handled everything that needs handling. The guilt isn’t rational. It’s just there. We do this constantly. Feel bad about feeling good when we “should” be feeling good. Take a vacation we’ve earned, then spend it worrying we’re being lazy. Enjoy a meal, then remember people are hungry somewhere....
I ate an expensive dinner last week while scrolling through news about famine. The pasta was perfect. I felt terrible about enjoying it. This guilt seems reasonable at first. People are suffering. I’m having fun. How can that be okay? But here’s the thing: my misery doesn’t reduce anyone else’s suffering. If I hate my pasta, no one gets fed. If I skip the dinner entirely and donate that money, maybe someone benefits....
I felt guilty yesterday for enjoying my coffee while reading about disasters in the news. This happens a lot. You’re having a good time, then remember something awful exists somewhere, and suddenly your pleasure feels wrong. Selfish. Like you’re betraying the suffering by not suffering too. But this makes no sense. Your misery doesn’t reduce anyone else’s misery. Your guilt doesn’t help the people you’re feeling guilty about. If anything, it wastes the good thing you had and creates more bad feeling in the world....