Philosophy

Modern Stoicism has a problem. It’s become productivity advice dressed up in Roman quotes. Walk into any bookstore. The philosophy section is full of books promising to make you “bulletproof” and “unshakeable.” They quote Marcus Aurelius about controlling your thoughts and Epictetus about choosing your responses. But they miss something crucial. The actual Stoics weren’t trying to optimize their performance. They were trying to figure out how to live well in a universe that doesn’t care about them....

Utilitarianism is simple. Whatever action creates the most happiness for the most people is the right thing to do. That’s it. Jeremy Bentham came up with this in the 1700s. He called it “the greatest happiness for the greatest number.” John Stuart Mill refined it later. The math is straightforward. Count up all the pleasure an action creates. Count up all the pain. Subtract pain from pleasure. The action with the highest score wins....

Determinism is simple. Everything that happens was caused by something that happened before it. The coffee cup falls because you knocked it. You knocked it because you reached for your phone. You reached for your phone because it buzzed. It buzzed because someone texted you. Go back far enough and you get to the Big Bang. Every event since then has been one long chain of cause and effect. Including your brain states....

We’ve made wanting things into a moral failing. Want a nicer car? You’re materialistic. Want recognition at work? You’re vain. Want your ex back? You’re pathetic. Want to be rich? You’re shallow. But here’s what I notice: the people who shame desire the most still want things. They just want different things. The monk who’s renounced material possessions? He wants enlightenment. The minimalist who owns twelve items? She wants simplicity. The stoic who claims to be above it all?...

Pain feels bad. That’s not a complex philosophical statement. It’s not even interesting. But it might be the only moral fact we can know for certain. Think about everything else people disagree on. Whether God exists. What makes life meaningful. Whether we have free will. Whether anything is truly right or wrong. But nobody argues that pain feels good while you’re experiencing it. The person writhing from a kidney stone isn’t confused about whether this is pleasant....